Quentin Tarantino’s segment of the Grindhouse double feature is released in Japan as a standalone movie.

The film has pretty big flaws; the 2 part structure is repetitive, some of the extended dialogue sequences drag on a bit, and a rather callous choice by 3 of the film’s heroines regarding their cheerleading friend made me like them less.

But Death Proof also contains cinematic genius, most obviously in the 2 car chases at the end of the movie. The penultimate chase is a nailbitingly tense, and the final chase and denouement created such a feeling of exhilaration that the audience actually applauded as the credits rolled, something that never happens here.

This is also the movie that finally convinced my girlfriend of the charms of Kurt Russell, whose Stuntman Mike is creepy, charming, pathetic, scary, and funny in equal measures. Although he still has tiny eyes like peanuts, apparently.

Grade: A -

Wonderful, beautiful, charming. Until at the end you realise that Brad Bird has figuratively cast himself as Remy, and that the bumbling Linguine is Jan Pinkava, and that the moral of the story, like the Incredibles before it, is that less talented people should get the hell out the way and let the talented folk (IE Brad Bird) run the show.

This initially delicious dish left a bitter aftertaste.

Like soup with wee in it.

Grade: B

A variation of Pepsi only sold in Japan, it does indeed taste of cucumbers. Icy ones. Sweet, icy cucumbers that have been dipped in Pepsi. What kind of maniac would dip cucumbers in Pepsi ? We may never know. But we must thank that maniac, for his mental illness has produced a delightfully refreshing beverage.

Grade: A-

I write now as a different man than the one who last posted on this internet log.  I am bitter, twisted, my face and fingers bent and gnarled with disappointment. I have eaten about 10 Gari Gari Kuns and not one so far has provided me with the secret message that will bestow another Gari Gari Kun upon me free. Am I cursed ? Is it my fate to go unblessed by Gari Gari Kun’s kindness?  Or is ‘Gari’ a charlatan, a common fraudster who promises the world but delivers nothing but humiliation?

I cannot be sure at this stage. The only real way to find out, I fear, is to eat 10 more Gari Gari Kuns. With a heavy heart I accept my fate. So it shall be.

The 86th movie in the Harry Potter saga comes prancing into our cinemas, grinning moronically and throwing pixie dust into our faces.

OK, it’s fairly entertaining, but it feels like the same movie all over again. They’re all becoming a blur in my head, with the exception of Alfonso Cuaron’s Azkaban, which I remember as having time travel in it and being good, and the second one, which I remember being the most boring of all and prominently featuring a toilet, for reasons which escape me.

The special effects in this one aren’t very good either; I’m sure that Hagrid’s giant halfwit brother is a retooled version of ILM’s Hulk.

Grade: C+

Gari Gari Kun is a beloved brand of ice pop that has been around for years here in Japan. I tried one for the first time yesterday, the cola variation, and I already feel like I need another. I mean it’s just a solid block of iced cola, but the seduction lies in its simplicity. Plus, if you find a special message on the stick you get another Gari Gari Kun free.

The little man on the packet is Gari Gari Kun himself, and his mouth has been open like that for 20 years.  One must feel sorry for him.

Grade: A

David Lynch either makes great movies – Blue Velvet, The Elephant Man, Mulholland Drive – or he makes shitty movies – Lost Highway, Dune, The Straight Story, Baby Geniuses 2. This time he has made a shitty movie, and its name is Inland Empire.

I won’t berate it for being incomprehensible, or like a dark nightmare, because Lynch’s great movies are too, but it is lacking a gripping central narrative thread to make the darkness and the weirdness compelling.

Laura Dern gives an intense and convincing performance as a woman in trouble, although after watching this movie I don’t ever want to see her face again.

Arghhh!

Grade: E

David Lynch Movie Contents Checklist

- People walking through dark rooms and corridors – Check.
- Bland / handsome-faced male protagonist dressed in black – Check.
- Betrayed psychopathic husband figure – Check.
- Red Curtains – Check.
- Crackling light bulb – Check.
- Harry Dean Stanton – Check.

This is a riveting recount of the serial killings that took place in late 60′s / early 70′s San Francisco, attributed to a mysterious figure calling himself ‘Zodiac’.

The time and place are rendered convincingly and in obsessive detail by director David Fincher, and the film’s realism serves to heighten the tension and brutality of the Zodiac’s attacks.

The biggest chills, however, come when the detectives on the case confront their number one suspect at his place of work, in a mesmerizing scene full of menace.

Grade: A-

The latest novel from Robert Harris (Pompei, Fatherland) tells the true story of the rise of Roman senator Cicero from geeky but determined youth to the almighty position of consul.

The structure of the book is that of the classic hero’s journey – protaganist overcoming overwhelming odds to seize a great prize – Cicero is the Roman Rocky, Luke Skywalker, or Michael Corleone, placed in the deadly arena of ancient power and politics. Watching him clamber up the Roman hierarchical structure, outfoxing rivals politically and tearing them apart in courtroom showdowns, is totally gripping.

He’s also a likeable chap, and Rome is a wonderful setting, and so I was a bit desolate when I finally finished the book.

I have now officially decided that when I go back in time, Rome will be my second destination, after prehistoric Earth.

Grade: A